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10 Things Every Couple Should Talk About Before Saying "I Do"

Posted
AuthorVictoria Poole

(That Have Nothing to Do with the Seating Plan)

The venue is booked.

The cake has been tasted.

You've finally agreed on whether Aunt Margaret can bring her new boyfriend.

Congratulations! 🎉

Planning a wedding is exciting, emotional and occasionally a little stressful. But while you're choosing flowers, photographers and first dance songs, there's one conversation many couples avoid altogether—the one about life after the wedding.

It might not sound romantic, but talking openly about finances, property and future plans before marriage is one of the greatest acts of trust a couple can make.

At Susan Howarth & Company Solicitors, we regularly meet couples who say:

"We wish we'd talked about this before we got married."

So, before you say "I do," here are ten conversations worth having.

Money

Money remains one of the biggest causes of relationship conflict. That doesn't mean you need identical spending habits—but you should understand each other's approach.

Talk about:

savings
spending
budgeting
joint accounts
financial goals
who pays for what

According to relationship research, disagreements about money remain one of the most common sources of long-term relationship tension.

Remember—it's not about how much money you have. It's about whether you're on the same page.

Property

Whose name will the house be in?
Will you own it jointly?
What if one person contributes a larger deposit?
What if parents help financially?

These questions are particularly important as many first-time buyers now rely on financial support from family members.

If you're buying before or after marriage, taking legal advice early can avoid misunderstandings later.

Children

Even couples who desperately want children don't always agree on:

when to start trying
how many children they'd like
childcare
careers
schooling
parenting styles

There's no right answer—but there should be a conversation.

Debts

Student loans.
Credit cards.
Car finance.
Personal loans.

It's surprising how many couples don't discover each other's debts until after the wedding.

Marriage doesn't automatically make you responsible for your spouse's debts, but financial pressures inevitably affect the household.

Honesty now can prevent arguments later.

Family Businesses

Own a business?
Expect to inherit one?
Working in the family company?

These assets often carry emotional as well as financial value. It's far better to discuss expectations before marriage than during a difficult separation years later.

Wills

Here's a surprising fact...

Marriage can revoke an existing Will unless it has been drafted in contemplation of that marriage.

Many newlyweds assume their old Will still applies. It often doesn't.

Making or updating your Will after marriage helps ensure your wishes are clear and your loved ones are protected.

Inheritance

Perhaps your parents have helped you buy your first home. Maybe you'll inherit the family farm.

Or perhaps you've never thought about inheritance at all.

Whatever your circumstances, discussing family wealth doesn't make you greedy. It makes you prepared.

Pensions

Pensions are often among the most valuable assets a couple owns. Yet they're frequently overlooked.

Ask yourselves:

Who are your nominated beneficiaries?
Have they been updated?
Do they still reflect your wishes?

A few minutes now could save your family significant difficulties in the future.

Pets

It might sound amusing...

...until a relationship ends.

Who keeps the dog? Who pays the vet bills? Who walks the Labrador every morning?

Pets are increasingly viewed as members of the family, but legally they're generally treated as property.

Agreeing expectations early can save heartache later.

Expectations

Perhaps the most important conversation of all. What do you each expect marriage to look like?

Career ambitions. Household responsibilities. Caring for elderly parents. Future relocations. Retirement. Communication.

Many couples discover they're making different assumptions without ever discussing them.

A simple conversation today could avoid years of misunderstanding tomorrow.

What About a Prenuptial Agreement?

Mention the word prenup, and many people immediately think of Hollywood celebrities.

In reality, they're becoming increasingly common across the UK.

Recent research suggests around one in five weddings now involves a prenuptial agreement, with many younger couples viewing them as sensible financial planning rather than a sign of mistrust.

One of the best-known legal cases remains the divorce of German heiress Katrin Radmacher and Nicolas Granatino. Their case transformed how courts in England and Wales view prenuptial agreements, with the Supreme Court confirming that properly prepared agreements should carry significant weight where they are fair.

A prenuptial agreement isn't about planning for divorce.

It's about providing clarity, protecting both parties and encouraging open conversations before marriage.

Planning Together Is One of the Most Romantic Things You Can Do

The strongest relationships aren't built on avoiding difficult conversations. They're built on having them.

Talking about money, property or inheritance doesn't make your relationship less romantic. It demonstrates trust, maturity and a shared commitment to your future.

After all, marriage isn't just about the wedding day. It's about everything that comes afterwards.

10 Things Every Couple Should Talk About Before Saying "I Do"

(That Have Nothing to Do with the Seating Plan)

What About a Prenuptial Agreement?

Planning Together Is One of the Most Romantic Things You Can Do

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